


Being Human Sucks

by Chandrian



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Depression, F/F, Friendship, Humanity, Sunnydale, anya and halfrek, anya hates mortals, vengeance demons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-23
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-23 00:27:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13775811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chandrian/pseuds/Chandrian
Summary: Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins (NOT Harris) has been freshly mortalized and is not handling it well. Her vengeance demon friend Halfrek tries to snap her out of it.





	Being Human Sucks

Evil.

It had taken Anya only hours to come to the conclusion that Buffy and her strange group of humans must be evil. Destroying her power center? Forcing her to become human like them? They should have just killed her, that would’ve been far preferable to living as a human for the next sixty to seventy years. 

The problem with Anya’s theory was that after following Buffy around for a few days, she seemed to be a good person. Anya had surreptitiously stalked Buffy at Sunnydale High, to her home, and when she went out hunting. She was the Slayer, sure, and she killed demons like they were bunnies, but aside from that...she wasn’t evil. The alternate reality Anya had created certainly proved that whatever Buffy and her friends had done to Anya, the world was not better off without the girl.

Buffy’s apparent goodness aside, Anya was still human. And being human sucked.

It had taken Anya a week to find the supplies she needed to summon Halfrek, her best vengeance demon friend. Well, her only friend, really. 

It had been Hallie who’d suggested Anya try using a teenager disguise to find girls seeking vengeance. It had worked like a dream for a while. Anya had traveled around the world as a teenager, talking to abused and heartbroken young women who wanted nothing more than their ex-boyfriends to eat shit. Which had certainly been an entertaining job, when she’d summoned a sentient excrement demon that corrupted anything that consumed it. The good old days.

But then she went to Sunnydale. Home of the Hellmouth. Well, she’d expected a lot of vengeance seekers. Living on a Hellmouth would certainly give anyone a powerful imagination, and the betrayed girls of Sunnydale had been nothing but inventive. But then Anya had met Cordelia Chase. A popular girl who’d been cheated on by her scum boyfriend Xander Harris. The wish had been so sweet--it had been decades since Anya had gotten the chance to make an alternate reality. But then Buffy Summers and Company had destroyed Anya’s life, and here she was. Living in a modest apartment in southern California, with barely $30,000 to sustain her life for who knew how long.

Hallie had been sympathetic, but ultimately unhelpful.

“I’m sorry, Anyanka, but you know there’s nothing I can do,” the curly-haired demon had said as she sipped tea on Anya’s sofa. “Even D’Hoffryn can’t help, you know that. They destroyed your power center, and there’s not really any going back from that. Frankly,” Hallie set down her tea cup and looked chagrined, “some of the others think you were careless and deserve to be mortal.”

Hallie’s words had cut deep. Anya had been an incredible vengeance demon for over a thousand years. She’d wreaked havoc across the globe, killing, maiming, torturing, and transforming disgraceful men at the wish of their scorned lovers. And now it was over. Never again would Anya get to turn a man into a troll, or cause someone’s skull to explode. 

After realizing that Buffy wasn’t a totally evil person, Anya had given up. A week into being a mortal teenager and she had had enough. She hadn’t left her apartment for several days. Sunnydale High, the school at which she was supposedly registered, called repeatedly. Something about “truancy.” But what was the point of going to a high school as a fake teenager if she was going to die? She was 1100 years old and she’d never actually been to school. No reason to start now. 

The first week rolled into another, and another and another. Anya only left her bed to eat or pee, things her stupid mortal body now required. Halfrek popped in occasionally, but usually left after a few minutes, claiming to have business. But Anya knew that Hallie, her best friend, simply didn’t want to be around a depressed mortal. 

Almost two months after Anya had been made a mortal, Halfrek returned. As Anya lay in bed, hair matted, body odor blending in with the stench of old takeout boxes that littered her apartment, she heard a faint pop that signaled the entrance of her one-time friend.

“Ugh, Anyanka!” Head still down, Anya could only hear the disgust that probably showed on Hallie’s face, but she made no move to greet the demon. 

Footsteps made their way to her bedside and the blankets covering her were abruptly stripped away. Still Anya did not move, but she felt goosebumps raise on her body as it was exposed to the cool air. 

“That is it, Anyanka!” Hallie’s voice was stern, and Anya could picture her standing there with hands on hips. “You’ve been like this for far too long. It’s a disgrace to vengeance demons everywhere!”

This caused a reaction in Anya’s fog-heavy brain. Clearing her throat of disuse, Anya said croakily, “I’m not a vengeance demon. I can’t disgrace anyone.”

“Bullshit, Anyanka. You smell awful, your place smells awful, and you’re better than this. This isn’t you.” Anya thought she heard pleading in the other demon’s voice, but it was not enough to force movement from her lethargic muscles. 

“Of course it’s not me,” Anya said, voice still creaking from a long quiet voice box. “I’m no one. I’m not a vengeance demon. I’m a mortal. A stupid, dying mortal.”

Halfrek didn’t reply right away. Anya could hear her breathing. There was a soft rustle of fabric and then the bed dipped away slightly from Anya’s head as Hallie sat beside her. 

“Anyanka,” Hallie’s voice was soft now, pleading gone and replaced with sympathy. “Mortality doesn’t matter. It doesn’t define who you are. Sure you’re not a vengeance demon anymore, but you’re still Anyanka. You’re smart, funny, powerful, and so brave. You can be a bit blunt or annoying sometimes, but that’s a part of you too. You can’t let these humans destroy everything you are.” 

Hallie’s voice whispered into silence, her words slowly sinking into Anya’s brain. They made sense. Anya had seen enough battered and broken women to know that depression lied to you and made you believe the worst of yourself. 

Like that being mortal made her worthless. 

Slowly, Anya turned her head to look at Halfrek. The demon’s tight curls framed her face, which grinned softly between cheeks as plump as plums. 

“I’m mortal,” Anya said softly, greasy hair sticking to her forehead. She pushed it back, arm heavy with lethargy. 

“I know, dear. But it doesn’t have to be forever. You could try to be a vengeance demon again. You just have to get your power center back. That’s what Anyanka would do, isn’t it?” 

Anya’s brain was grinding again. Having turned over, her no longer crushed stomach expanded and growled into emptiness. It must have been several hours since she’d eaten. Or possibly days. Her filth, which had hovered at the edge of her awareness for the last few weeks, now came to the forefront of her attention. Anya was disgusting: covered in sweat from being wrapped in blankets, teeth gritty, hair matted. She shifted into a sitting position and Hallie stood and took a step back. 

“Oh, Anyanka, I’m sorry. But you smell terrible.” Her friend was covering her mouth and nose with a flowing sleeve, squinting at Anya through a veritable haze of body stench. 

“Oh gods,” said Anya, finally breathing deeply in her small apartment. “What died in here?”

“Look,” Hallie began, still covering her half her face, “How about you start cleaning up--yourself and your home--and I’ll come back in an hour with Thai food. From Thailand; this silly small town has terrible ethnic food.”

Anya continued to move slowly out of her grimy nest. Her feet connected with dirty tissues and old takeout as she swung them off the bed. She fought off a headrush as being vertical swept over her. Anya took a deep breath, and immediately regretted it. 

“That’d be great, Hallie,” she said, looking at her demon friend once more. “Thank you. So much.”

“Of course, dear,” Hallie smiled and blew a kiss before disappearing with a sweep of her arms, leaving Anya alone.


End file.
